[Amity had been a blindside Luz hadn't expected, and when Luz had indulged, it had been her friends but primarily Eda who had helped her get out of that hole, who had humored her when she thought Amity might have been kidnapped, who'd comforted her when Luz realized the truth. Throughout everything, she HAD Eda, and she couldn't make herself feel better by saying it hadn't been "real" Eda.
This Eda had cared for her, taken her in, taken AMITY in, had sewn her cosplay clothes. She'd indulged her, enough Luz worked for her happily. It WAS her Eda, and that didn't change because she didn't remember the Isles. It was still Eda at heart, so no matter what Luz tried to think, her own was breaking knowing she wouldn't see her again. Luz closed her eyes, taking a breath. doing her best not to break down again, because her stupid emotional brain was going to have her fall apart, and that was the last thing she wanted.
She wasn't alone. That was the big thing. She wouldn't be abandoned even if it did feel a lot like it right now.
Which was why, when Luz witnessed Albertos' reaction, she was taken aback before realizing, yes, she had insulted the kindness of her friend, and that was stupid. True, she was only trying to bring some levity she could only halfway pull off, but knowing it might have actually hurt Alberto. Luz sucked her breath, knocking herself in the head as an admonishment, and then took one of the suitcases. The lightest one.
She lugged the last luggage, and quietly said, "No quise herir tus sentimientos. Lo siento."
Luz didn't like to admit that she had no idea how to function right now, and it was taking everything not to punch several things. She was grateful to Alberto, but it was hard to not feel anything but numb, and wanted to at least seem like she wasn't absolutely crushed right now.
[OOC: And to finish this I had to thrown on "Between the Bars" by Elliot Smith, because why not make this a million times more sad]?
I know (now, actually) but it is REALLY interesting, and I'll probably give it some more listens!
This Eda had cared for her, taken her in, taken AMITY in, had sewn her cosplay clothes. She'd indulged her, enough Luz worked for her happily. It WAS her Eda, and that didn't change because she didn't remember the Isles. It was still Eda at heart, so no matter what Luz tried to think, her own was breaking knowing she wouldn't see her again. Luz closed her eyes, taking a breath. doing her best not to break down again, because her stupid emotional brain was going to have her fall apart, and that was the last thing she wanted.
She wasn't alone. That was the big thing. She wouldn't be abandoned even if it did feel a lot like it right now.
Which was why, when Luz witnessed Albertos' reaction, she was taken aback before realizing, yes, she had insulted the kindness of her friend, and that was stupid. True, she was only trying to bring some levity she could only halfway pull off, but knowing it might have actually hurt Alberto. Luz sucked her breath, knocking herself in the head as an admonishment, and then took one of the suitcases. The lightest one.
She lugged the last luggage, and quietly said, "No quise herir tus sentimientos. Lo siento."
Luz didn't like to admit that she had no idea how to function right now, and it was taking everything not to punch several things. She was grateful to Alberto, but it was hard to not feel anything but numb, and wanted to at least seem like she wasn't absolutely crushed right now.
[OOC: And to finish this I had to thrown on "Between the Bars" by Elliot Smith, because why not make this a million times more sad]?