prontissimo | kaisou inbox

[ Alberto looks up at her with almost doleful eyes, for how touched it always makes him feel when she does stuff like that. He's always liked it but even after all this time, isn't used to it. After a beat, he puts another lopsided, bittersweet smile on — this one much warmer, though... In his own way, he opens up — while also making a quick save to... avoid opening up. His mental gymnastics are so impressive... ]

Well— Luca's party was a lot of fun, we were so happy, but... it was a couple days after Bruno left. So— my party is automatically gonna be great, cuz I'll be happier, and it'll be easier to focus on the fun, heh — y'know...?

[ He tries to put as positive a spin on this as he can, but it's obvious now what that blip was. A pang of grief. They come up a lot between these two, sure, those sudden remembrances, unexpected connections, but some are harder to hide than others... And even after all this time, Alberto still seldom talks about Bruno. He talks around Bruno, usually — this being a prime example of this dodgy way of mourning he's developed. But even with all his weak positive spins, still trying to make like he's totally okay and has been this whole time, despite how much he betrays his true emotions in every way but his words, Alberto still won't talk about Bruno. ]

Edited 2023-09-07 02:27 (UTC)

[Ah. Yeah. She knows this very well. We don't talk about Bruno™. For years that was just how things were in the family Madrigal.

Pain and grief and loss and all the hard feelings to navigate.

She's grateful that her gift has been hampered here in Kaisou because the little cloud that rolls in is so little even by standards of the slight shift in mood. She reaches up and shoos it impatiently with the hand not petting his hair.]

You miss him.

[It's not a question.]

It is okay to miss him. I miss him too. You miss people even more at big events like birthdays, you know? If you want to talk about it we can.

[ He turns his face up to hers with searching eyes again — a look he hit Bruno with constantly, like he was desperate for any hint of wisdom the man would drop, hanging on his every word, like everything he said was solid fact. ~~It was a little much, admittedly. Bruno was a real trooper...~~ But it's how he holds all the adults in his life — like these infallible beacons of truth... He doesn't even realize he does it still, despite how many times he's been disproven. But Pepa's words have that exact same resonance, plus still the profundity of her simple motherly mannerisms like stroking his hair or holding his hand. It emotionally disarms him every time. He stays quiet a long moment, visibly deliberating whether he does want to talk about it or not... He knows he can — Pepa understands more than anyone — but he's never... not grieved alone...? It takes him a moment to figure out how to talk about it, even if he wanted to, staring up at her with wide eyes. All that flashes across his face in those subtle series of expressions he makes — just as emotional as Pepa or Bruno or anyone else in the Madrigal family, but with way less practice hiding it... ]

[ He takes a deep breath, seems like he's going to politely decline as he composes himself and sits up straighter; but what he'd intended to be a cool, collected sigh, instead comes out as a hiss of breath, exasperated as he feels all at once overwrought. He can only feign so much... he's not as great an actor as he acts like. His brow furrows in frustration as he exhales, frowning and casting his gaze away; he clutches one of his arms with his hand nervously in his seat, half-hugging himself — a mannerism he naturally always shared with Bruno, rather than one he mimicked. He can't contain himself, and with an invitation not to, he just blurts out the first thing he feels, his tone a lot more venomous than he means it to be; while he doesn't mean to lash out, he doesn't know how to just... talk about feelings, in a large way. So he just gets to the heart of the issue, one he's not mentioned to Pepa before. But something in his phrasing shows a lot more about his perspective than he even notices, like he's said these words before — like on some level he's still maybe not exactly talking about Bruno. ]

...He's supposed to be here. He said he'd be here for my birthday this year. He should be back by now!

[ Because... Alberto's really been banking on the possibility that Bruno would come back before his birthday. Maybe just in time! But he's been riding that theory with enough delusional optimism to get him through each day, waiting and hopeful... until now, as the time starts running out for Bruno's grand reappearance. ]

[Okay. Anger. Frustration. Raw pain coming out in ways she's not unfamiliar with. She senses maybe it's not all Bruno here. There's likely deeper things tied to Bruno.

Bruno did describe him as seeming like he didn't have anyone. So Pepa can make assumptions from there.

Okay. Jumping right in. She slides her chair out and turns it to face Alberto, listening. What did she want when she was feeling big, complicated feelings? Acknowledgment. To be allowed to feel it instead of placated and told to get it under control.]

Go on.

[Bottling it up always made it worse when the dam finally broke. That's why when faced with the chance to tackle someone else feeling big complicated emotions...

She urges him to let himself feel it.]

[ He's not at all expecting her to urge him to go on. His face looks almost stricken by the invitation to open up. She wants to hear about his feelings...? She wants to see his feelings. She's asking for more of his feelings! No one's ever wanted that from him before — not grown-ups, anyway. His dad, at some points, but— even long before his dad had left the island, it'd been a long time since Alberto was last invited to express himself openly and freely. He's much more used to bottling up, doing the best he can to impress the adults around him, and otherwise giving up hope that they might understand and hear him out, so keeping to himself, not asking questions, just... minding his own business. On his own. Even before he was on his own — he was on his own.

The rush of emotion knots his brow, but his words catch in his throat, unsure how to even begin to go on. He takes another deep breath, and this one cracks his armor even more than before, his frown deepening quite suddenly, quite desperately. Indeed, it's like a dam breaking. Alberto doesn't know what a dam is... but the analogy fits just fine. ]

...Why'd he make a promise he couldn't keep? Why do grownups do that?

[ He leans into Pepa petting his hair, conceding to the affection. Being mothered really just hits different, most especially as he laments his lack of a father in general... There's always been a fair bit of projection going on in his dynamic with Bruno and the rest of the Madrigal family, but it's the first time Alberto's really letting it show. They're talking about Bruno, at long last — but, yeah, no, it's clearer and clearer that they're not just talking about Bruno... ]

[She listens and she watches him and she does her best to understand the tangle of emotions he's feeling.

Boy does she ever know a thing or two about tangled feelings.

She maybe knows a thing or two about missing fathers too. Although, of course, her father died protecting his family. Her and her siblings and her mother. Still. It was a hole that never went away and she understands that.]

Sometimes things happen that we cannot expect. Even adults make mistakes.

[She pulls him close to hold him.]

I know that Bruno would not have broken his promises on purpose. But he did and it is okay to be upset about it even if he did not mean to do it. Unintentional hurt is still hurt.

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