prontissimo | kaisou inbox

[ It feels like an incredibly wise choice to have asked Katsuki to be their chaperone for this mission. It sounded exciting, first of all — everyone knows Alberto and Luca love a good race — but it so happened that fortune smiled on them, because Katsuki was born in the Year of the Horse. So his animal for the race is, you know, useful... He has a sled and a massive beast of burden. Whereas Luca and Alberto have a, uh, a rooster... and a monkey... Once again, as it's been proven so many times already: without Katsuki, the boys would have been doomed.

They're only a couple days into the trek, but even their first day, Alberto was keenly aware of how lucky they were to be on Katsuki's team. Plus, you know, all his cool explode-y powers and fighting expertise and such. Alberto's been going to his fight club for a while now, and while he's learned a lot from Katsuki about hand-to-hand combat, he doesn't have magic powers. He and Luca can't shoot fireballs, or explode things with their minds, or turn invisible, or whip out crazy vines and carnivorous plants... or cast spells and fly around on a staff, or control magical goop, or make themselves rubbery, or gain super-strength super-cat-powers... or all the other crazy magical things all their friends can do. Even more subtle powers, like if their cooking could heal you, or super-hearing, or their moods affecting the weather, traveling between shadows, even talking to rats...! He wouldn't want to see people's futures, or people's pasts, both sound awful, but jeez, out of everything else all their friends can do? Alberto would at least settle for a nice chat with a rat! But he and Luca are just... normal. Well, maybe not normal, but not magical. They've got about one trick up their sleeve. Luca's the only other person he knows who's normal(-ish) like him, so, there's that at least — whatever that's worth... Being magic seems the far better option, though; if he could, he would. Alberto's felt so motivated to make himself useful in tough scenarios, ever since Isabela had to save his butt with her flowers back in October when rescuing Bruno together. But without any magic... it's hard. So this monkey's monkey business better help make up for their normalness! Luca's rooster— Alberto has doubts about... Luca might have to pick up the slack for it instead.

They've gotten their winter gear down pat by now, and came well-prepared with snow gear and food and camping supplies. It's impressive how much camping supplies they own, for two eighth-grade boys... How do they own so many things? Or, perhaps a better question— Why do they own so many things? Last year when he moved to Stardew, Alberto lived with three adults, and he was the only one who thought to bring any food or kitchenware...? He feels particular pride in that. ~~Bruno just brought rats.~~ So Alberto's extra determined to be on top of this mission; he's older, wiser, a man of action now! Yeah! Not over-compensating for any insecurity at all... And even if he is: eh, if they make it out of this unscathed, it's worth it.

They're leaving the first lodge they'd encountered, ready to get back on the trail. It's early morning, Luca's rooster having woke them up at the crack of dawn — one useful thing it can do, at least. Alberto's not... overly thrilled about that contribution to the group effort... But he's not one to talk. Because his monkey is presently causing him problems as he tries to load up their sled with food and other supplies they've restocked here. As soon as he puts one thing in, the monkey throws another out. Just to be spiteful, maybe? That's Alberto's interpretation. As he fights with his monkey, the two of them oddly mirrored, scrambling back and forth trying to predict each other's movements like a cartoon stand-off, he calls out to Katsuki and Luca. ]

Hey, uh, a little help here, guys?!

[ The monkey chitters shrilly (is it laughing at him, um...?!) and starts hopping up and down on the back of the sled, as if gleefully. Alberto waves his arms exasperatedly at it, raising his voice lamentingly. ]

This mission is for you, you know! We're here to protect you! Stop throwing your own food away, mamma mia...!

[ They're clearly off to a great start... Bless Katsuki and bless Katsuki's horse. ]

Edited (a million thanks again for your patience and flexibility! ; 3 ; ♥ ♥ ♥) 2023-04-25 17:20 (UTC)

[After the rooster does...the single useful thing the rooster can do, Luca mostly carries it around, trying to make sure it doesn't wander off and get itself into trouble. Unfortunately, Alberto's monkey seems to be be determined to be the source of said trouble. Setting his rooster down for a moment, Luca rushes over and...stops, staring at the monkey for a moment, unsure of how to stop it.

Then, in a rush of inspiration, while Alberto has the monkey distracted, Luca rushes forward and grabs it...

And the monkey turns into a blur of screeching and wiggling until Luca is forced to let it go. It hurries to the other end of the sled...and just to spite him, throws one more thing out of the sled.]

Well, that didn't work.

[Useful or not, Katsuki was decidedly unsure about the horse thing. Honestly, he'd have preferred something smaller. He can move a lot faster if he just had a snake or something he could put in his coat and carry while he exploded his way through this race.

He also in general is unsure about the horse... because it's a horse? He's a city boy, okay? He doesn't know what the hell to do with a horse!

It comes in handy when he realizes Luca and Alberto need their own help with this race thing at least. And it seems to like him despite the fact he knows nothing about horses?? He's winging this right now. But it seems to be going okay? All thanks to a recent power acquisition of... animals loving him? His powerset only gets more strange.

He looks up from hooking the sled up to said horse when Alberto calls for help.]

Oy! If I gotta come back there, we'll be having monkey soup for dinner!

[Because threatening the monkey is... definitely a tactic? It's not like it can even understand he's threatening it!]

[ Luca's attack on the monkey would've been a brilliant plan in Alberto's mind, too — and it would have gone exactly the same way, had he tried it. The monkey scutters off, climbing up onto the front of the sled, right behind the horse and right above Katsuki's head, as he hitches up the sled. It screeches and chitters at Katsuki as if in response to his threat, but really it's just still frazzled and pissed off by Luca trying to wrangle it — or maybe both. Who knows. Alberto, meantime, is hastily trying to pick up all the stuff the monkey threw out of the sled into the snow, frazzled and pissed off, himself, as he shleps through the snow, grumping and grumbling. ]

Stupid monkey... Stupid snow... Stupid Zodiac... Stupid other-Zodiac...

[ He manages to collect everything all in one heap, precariously balanced in his arms, before he waddles it all back over to the sled and dumps it unceremoniously in the back. He's handling this race well. ]

[Luca watches the monkey for a moment while it screeches angrily, then shrugs.]

Well, I guess if it's too angry to throw things out of the sled, that's good enough for me.

[He turns and goes to get his chicken, which has wandered off a bit from where he set it down, but was still easy to find since it didn't get too far and was calmly pecking at the ground a few yards away. Picking it up he heads back, setting the chicken on the sled before climbing onto the sled himself. As he gets closer to the monkey, the monkey, still disgruntled by Luca's previous actions, starts screeching louder. Luca doesn't even bother looking at it.]

Well, that's what you get for--ow!

[The monkey, deciding it doesn't want to hear Luca's back talk, has grabbed a chunk of Luca's hair and yanked. Luca quickly swats it's hand away.]

Alberto, I don't think I like your monkey.

[Katsuki finishes hooking up the horse, giving it an uncertain little pat. It seems to appreciate it, despite him being very unsure about the motion.

Then he turns to watch the monkey tugging at Luca's hair. He's not sure what the hell to do with a monkey either. At least the chicken seems to be behaving...]

Are you asking to be dinner right now, you little furry bastard?

[The monkey chatters at him angrily again. Hopping up and down. And Katsuki finds himself having a staring contest with it for a few moments as it has a little mini tantrum. Presumably about the injustice of not being allowed to throw shit around.

When Katsuki just glares at it, it decides to throw something at him. Which has Katsuki picking it up and throwing it back.]

I said knock it off, damn you!!

[There is a brief pause in the monkey's antics as it considers what just happened. And then it starts grabbing the things Alberto just put back in the sleigh to hurl at Katsuki. Now it's chittering less angrily.

Maybe it thinks he's playing??? Katsuki responds by throwing them back.

The most mature response, clearly!]

Goddamn it!! Leave shit in the sleigh!

Edited 2023-05-19 14:39 (UTC)

[ Alberto is wearing the most incredulous, exasperated face he's ever worn in his life, as the items he'd just deposited back in the sled are thrown out again — by Katsuki, too. He'd rushed over to come to Luca's aide, only to find... this... It takes a lot for Alberto to be the lawful one, but good grief. ]

Oh my g— Stop, you guys! Just— Ugh, here, dai.

[ He rummages through a knapsack and produces a bag of trail mix. Purchased specifically for the name, of course. He holds it up and shakes it at the monkey, which does indeed get its attention, then reaches out and drops a handful onto the seat beside Luca. The monkey hops down off the edge of the sled and starts hastily eating up the nuts and dried fruit, while Alberto just as hastily rounds up the few items that Katsuki and the monkey had thrown out again. He's more than eager to get on the road and just end this already... They've barely begun and he's over it. Next race he does: if there's a monkey, he's out. He was blissfully unaware until now of how grateful he should've been that they didn't have any sjfhzing monkeys to wrangle during the Portorosso Cup...!

He hops over the side of the sleigh and positions himself right beside Luca and his chicken, keeping the bag of trail mix between his legs and dutifully holding out fistfuls of food in each hand, hoping to keep the monkey distracted on his right, and just to... be fair to the poor chicken in Luca's lap on his left... which happily pecks away at the second breakfast in his palm. Alberto, for his part as a voluntary food dispenser, looks miserable between them. It's a fairly comical sight, really. And for now, it seems like he's managed some kind of peace, enough to allow them to take off at last. But it certainly sets some kind of tone for the rest of this mission... ]

[Luca lets out a sigh of relief when, finally, there's a bit of peace as the monkey and the chicken eat out of Alberto's hands.]

All right, let's get going before we run out of food!

[Because he feels like their progress will come to a halt again once that happens.]

[Katsuki gives the monkey eating trail mix a disgruntled look. But he tosses his bag into the front of the sled and climbs on and braces himself for his first attempt steering a sleigh.]

Is trail mix the only thing you brought to eat?

[Well. They shouldn't be competing in this race for too long anyway... right? It'll be fine. He gives them a gentle tug? Nothing. He gives them a little flick? The horse just snorts and stands there. What is it they say in those old westerns?]

...giddyup?

[Nothing. Katsuki feels a little bit silly.]

...how the hell do you make this thing walk?

[At the word 'walk', the horse starts moving forward, the sleigh soon moving too.]

Really? That's all it takes?

[ Alberto bristles at Katsuki's question, but doesn't budge from his place as food dispenser, though he throws a hot-tempered pout at the back of Katsuki's head. ]

No, I brought lots of food...

[ But soon enough they're off, and as they're pulled into motion, Alberto jolts forward slightly in his seat. The monkey gets nervous that he's taking the food away, and so grabs onto his hand with both its little monkey hands desperately, leaning in to eat directly out of his palm with urgency, while the chicken on the other side of him gets startled and starts flapping about a bit. Alberto throws Luca a comedically weary look, letting out a long, deep, withering sigh for effect. He's so glad Luca's here right now... Always, of course, but especially right now. Who knows what Alberto'd do to this monkey if he didn't have Luca's calming presence by his side... He may not have any wild magic powers like Katsuki's, but he can still be a little, uh— explosive. ]

So, what're we gonna do about the demon things, eh? We've gotta fight 'em off, right? That's the whole deal?

[ This monkey isn't much gaining his loyalty, but he's here to protect it and that's what he's gonna do, man. Maybe he's not so useful without any wild magic powers, but... he brought a baseball bat? And some kitchen knives? And fishing nets! And, uh, a hammer. He brought... a lot of "weapons." As many as he could find in their apartment — which is a lot, with a creative eye and a point to prove. He felt so useless on Bruno's rescue mission in October, compared to Isabela whipping around all her vines and cacti to fight off the demons there. Katsuki's taught him a lot about fighting since then, and he's determined to be less of a burden on this mission. Thusly, he brought a hammer. He'll do what he can, man... ]

[Luca reaches out to calm his chicken when he sees it start to flap, gently pulling the bird into his lap and petting it.]

Yeah, I think we have to fight them off.

[More like Katsuki will have to fight them off. Luca and Alberto aren't exactly going to be much of a help in that department, after all.]

[Katsuki looks back to be sure they're okay. These two are his responsibility today and he takes that seriously.

He's out of his depths with the horse but demons? Demons he can handle.]

Fighting I can do. But if I'm fighting, it'll be on you two to guard the animals and keep 'em calm. My explosions might be out of the question. They're loud. May have to stick with my fire.

[Thankfully this place is covered in snow? His fire is a little... tricky. I mean. He's fire proof. He'll be fine. But he doesn't know that yet. All he knows is fire+nitro sweat is a bad time waiting to happen.]

Keep an eye out. We don't want them to get the drop on us if we can help it.

[ Alberto glances at Luca, quietly a little skeptical of whether the animals can be kept calm... Trail mix isn't gonna be so effective a distraction in battle, Alberto wagers. But rather than betray his private worries, he of course always wants to be the one to gas everyone up, be a yes man, so he turns to the monkey instead and gives it a threatening frown. ]

You hear that, you? No monkey business...!

[ Ha. Ha ha. Get it. Pause for laughter. He glances back at Luca and Katsuki both, an expectant plastic smile on his face, a little too self-satisfied with his pun. He learned this human idiom a while ago, but now that he has occasion to use it, he totally gets what it means...!

But, as with anything these guys get up to, there's of course going to be monkey business. ...Probably right on cue, too. ]

Perfect! You handle the fighting we'll handle the animal wrangling! And we'll watch for danger!

[Said like the monkey isn't too much for the two of them to handle all on it's own. Then, right as Alberto said 'no monkey business', the monkey turned around and started going through their supplies. Luca holds up a finger.]

"Eh eh! Monkeeey!" he says, which...actually gets the monkey to turn around. Which gives Luca an idea. "Alberto, give me some of the trail mix!"

[Monkey business indeed. This is a trio of people prone to chaos. There's no way it'll go smoothly. But for that first stretch, it does? The horse seems to know what it's doing and Katsuki lets it do its thing. Just keeping an eye out for any sign of danger.

It's when the horse needs to stop for a break that things go sideways for the first time. It comes to a stop, huffing and hoofing at the ground. Dislodging snow in search of grass to graze on.]

Guess it's tired. Maybe we should take this chance to--

[To what? Unknown. Because something is making a ruckus and the horse makes a sound of distress. On alert, Katsuki doesn't finish his sentence. He stands up in the sleigh--a mistake--and scans the are for sign of what's making the noise.

The answer is a couple of demons have caught sight of their sleigh and are rushing down the side of the mountain. Katsuki fixes his attention on them just as the horse moves, jolting the sleigh.

Katsuki rocks, cursing, arms waving to maintain balance. Comical, save for the fact they need him to fight the demons descending upon them.

While this is happening, the other animals also get upset by the shift in noise levels and the jolting sleigh. The monkey climbing up on Alberto's shoulders and shrieking as Katsuki finds his balance and braces himself, conjuring up a fireball and hoping for the best.]

Whatever happens, stay on the sleigh!

[Odds are good the horse will bolt. Odds are also good he isn't staying in this sleigh if it does.]

[ Alberto does as told, handing off a fistful of trail mix to Luca for whatever his monkey wrangling idea is... But the horse comes to a slow stop, and it grabs Alberto's attention. He goes to ask – ]

What's going on?

[ But Katsuki's answer is cut short by the horse's worried whinnying, which puts Alberto on edge. It's a weird noise. He doesn't know much about horses. But it seems— b-baaaad...? Bad sound. Sounds bad. And before Alberto can even register what it is that's upsetting the horse so, Katsuki's on his feet — and then off them — and they're lurching forward in the snow. Then it's clear what's going on, but just as Alberto's figured out they've been targeted, there's the monkey, back on his bull shit — and back on his back. Alberto shrieks when the money jumps on him, shrieking itself, and clings to it desperately... which would also be comical, save for the fact that they need to survive the demons descending upon them. ]

Luca, hug your chicken!

[ Words he never thought he'd say, but, well, here they are. In a sleigh. In the snow. Hugging a chicken and a monkey. While their friend whips up a— fireball? Good grief... At least one of them has magic, but... good grief... Alberto wishes he could be so useful. ]

[Luca hugs his clucking, flapping chicken, petting it and desperately trying to calm it down while he looks off in the distance to see what had spooked all the animals...and he sees demons coming closer. He then looks toward Katsuki, who has at least regained his balance, but is now summoning a fireball. He tenses, unsure of how this is going to go.]

[Katsuki braces himself as best he can and hurls the fireball at the nearest demon, near its feet before conjuring another.

The horse makes another distressed sound and digs at the ground with one hoof while Katsuki focuses on hurling fireballs at the oncoming attackers. And then it bolts. Katsuki sways, falls and drops the fireball.

He curses as his jacket sleeve ignites. The sleigh now bouncing and bumping its way along as the horse books it across the mountain path in a panic.

Aaaaand the demons are giving chase.]

Shit! Shit! Shit!

[ Alberto's eyes go wide, and he lets go of his monkey to reach out and shake Katsuki's shoulder from behind. ]

Katsuki! Fire! Fire! There's fire on you!

[ Thanks, Alberto. He probably noticed. Just in case, though, y'know, there's a lot going on. He has no idea what to do, their canteens are packed away with all their stuff, not easily accessible, and the monkey is hopping up and down beside him screeching loudly. Alberto spins round to check on the demons giving chase behind them, and starts panicking even more, turning back to check on Katsuki, muttering to himself loudly. ]

Holy sharks holy sharks holy sharks holy sharks...!

Oh no!

[Katsuki's on fire! And the horse is racing too fast for them to try and get over to help him.]

I wish those demons would just go away!

[Because they don't have time to fight the demons now.]

We need to put this fire out, we don't have time for this!

[Luca gestures, frustrated, and instinctively he summons a small amount of water midair, just enough that it would fill a glass, that drops onto Katsuki's burning arm.]

What was...how?

[Katsuki stares at where the water fell, just enough to extinguish the small flame on his jacket sleeve before it can get out of control.

What the...?

He turns his head, staring up at the boys behind him, piecing it together.]

What the hell?? You have water magic??

[They're still hurtling up the mountain with demons on their tail. But at least he's not on fire?]

[ And suddenly, in the midst of all this chaos, everything around them seems to simply stop for Alberto, as he gapes at Luca in shock. Luca— has magic? Water magic? He watched that happen right before his eyes. He'd heard about this — Bruno got random new powers all the time! — but to see it himself is surreal. Luca is magical... Luca is magical!

The sleigh lurches over a bump in the snowy path, and it's like it knocked reality back into place. He grabs onto the back of the sleigh for support, grabbing his monkey with the other hand. But after a second, as Alberto tunes back into the danger they're actually in, his shocked reaction abates... And he starts grinning — smiling and laughing and whooping. ]

Oh my— Ahah! Luca, you're magic! Whoohoooooo! Yeah, man, hah!

[ The monkey screeches shrilly, scrambling in Alberto's lap, almost like he's joining in on the celebration. Not the time, guys. This is not the ideal moment for two crazy little monkeys screaming WOOHOO. ]

Um...

[He looks down at his hand, surprised, before looking back up at Katsuki.]

Apparently!

[It may not be the ideal time to be shouting, but Luca's pretty excited himself and doesn't even try to be quiet, either.]

Yeah! Oh! I bet I could use this to splash water on those demons, so then they'd have to fight while being cold and wet!

Honestly, I'll take any advantage we can get. Even if it's make them uncomfortable.

[Katsuki works on getting himself back on his feet. He's thinking. Actually...

Hang on.]

Got a thought. I've got really weak ice magic. Usually can only make small walls of it. But if you got water magic, maybe we can combine it. Your water, my ice, we could try to block the way behind us.

[Once he gets this horse under control of course.]

Up to try it?

[ This isn't the moment to think Luca's funny and cute, but Alberto can't help it — making the monsters uncomfy is a pretty great battle strategy, whether or not it's a very effective one. He's still just so excited that Luca has magic, wow...! Though there's some odd feeling in the back of his mind he can't quite put his finger on.

But then Katsuki comes up with that idea, and it kind of pops Alberto's bubble. Useless. Right. That's the feeling. The same way he felt when he was on the rescue mission to save Bruno in October, fighting alongside Isabela... He felt like such dead weight behind her. He sits back down, fully back in the sled, and clings to his monkey in his lap, eyes darting between Luca and Katsuki and the demons chasing them. The best he can manage is protect the animals, he supposes...? So he reaches out and grabs Luca's chicken, too, bringing it closer to his side, keeping it tucked under his arm for safe keeping – which it doesn't seem to mind, frankly. The monkey, steady screeching and panicking and wriggling, peers over Alberto's shoulder, clinging to his coat, watching the demons chase them, too. They're not bringing much to the table here, either. It'd be real useful if the monkey or chicken suddenly gained magic powers like Luca just did, he can't help but imagine how that'd be so amazing. Though it'd be much more useful and amazing if Alberto did, too... ]

kaisou inbox

backdated to January Event; closed to Luca and Katsuki

no subject

no subject

y'all feel free to write this monkey, too, I'd be glad for some group effort monkey business lol...

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject