prontissimo | kaisou inbox

im not UPSET im fine with ocean stuff
i'm just saying
that's REALLY STUPID if people are wanting to explore the deep
it should REMAIN 80 % unexplored
lots of crazy nightmare fuel down there ejust saying its not COOL nightmare fule
besides theres way weirder stuff onland

Look humans are just fucked up like that.
People live in places that routinely get wrecked by acts of nature.
Or that are ridiculously inhospitable.
Or we eat things that actively hurt to eat.
Personally I love spicy food that makes my eyes water.
Get used to how crazy we are.
Also yeah, there's weird shit here too.
Like this.

[He's gonna try this again, but with land things. Maybe that'll be better received?]

[ Suddenly alarm bells are ringing. DID he blow his cover…? The distance implied between the lines of this last text is… concerning. Revealing. Revealing his own reveal. So his next response is tentative, the “…” flashing and disappearing a few times before a response comes through. ]

I am used to it……
Why wouldn’t i be used to it……?
It’s not like im FROM the ocean…?
Don’t say it so weird?

[ There. Deflected. 100% unsuspicious. And amazingly, technically, without much of a lie. He really did grow up on land, in living memory.

But the attached video draws another pause. ]

[ Uh, yeah, no, that video distracts him from his discomfort. Perfect segue. ]

abyway
1. What
2. this

[ And attaches a video of his own… though still odd that he’s arguing “frogs” as weird “land” animals. But still, arguably not ocean animals, so he has a point.

…But still. ]

[Well he guesses if they aren't unpacking ocean trauma and Alberto's going to give him a perfect opening...]

Kid, you're not exactly great at the lying thing.
The way you talked about the deep and how your dad almost got sent there?
Not to mention you give off major cryptid vibes.
For the record this app is crawling with people who don't entirely fit the 'normal human' label.
Myself included.
So whatever you think is gonna happen if I know? It's not.
Anyway, check out this ostrich chasing cyclists.

[Just very casual nbd calling him on it and moving on?]

[ Oh, sharks... ]

i don't know what you're talking about.

[ There. Not even watching the ostrich video, unfortunately. He's panicking. ]

Look.
You could come from the ocean or outer space or a plant pod.
Doesn't really mean shit to me.
I'm just saying, you don't have to watch how you talk with me.
You're a sea monster and I've got a fiery fox demon living inside me.
Neither has to be a big deal.
Right?
Now do you want more weird animal videos?

what…?

[ “What” to what, Alberto…? He’s sweating bullets over here. It’s the second time he’s been exposed since being here. Not ideal. But conflicting because, well… it doesn’t seem poorly received, if he does let on honestly… He’s torn. Again, there’s a lapse with blinking “…” before another response. ]

but yes? More movies?

Ever heard of pangolins?

[Just. Take your time with the rest of that, Alberto. It's cool. That's why Katsuki is detouring from it as soon as he drops it on him that he knows. Is that the best tactic? Who the hell knows? He's winging it.]

Edited 2022-06-09 16:32 (UTC)

[ Oh, per mille sardine, this is terribly distressing... he wanted the topic dropped, and now that it has been, he's freaking out maybe more? No closure or explanation or reassurance, just casually outed himself and now can't even confirm whether or not he's actually outed himself or if his weak deflection was strong enough. He's just gotta roll with it. Again, the "..." deliberatively blink off and on a couple times for a long moment, before Alberto's response comes through again, wedding himself to the facade now by just... moving on smoothly. Or not-so-smoothly. Oof. ]

how do you know all the animals?
ccan you talk to them?
i met a kid who talks to animals at the animal park here a while ago.
he told me about tikers and dacks and the big pink seagulls.
and monkies. he said those are jerks tho.
do you know these animals?

Edited 2022-06-10 16:09 (UTC)

[Katsuki is treating this as very much Not A Big Deal right now. It'll maybe come up again later. If Alberto doesn't breach the subject at some point, Katsuki will again. But for now... he's just letting it sit.]

What?
No, I can't talk to animals.
I've never even seen half these things in person.
These aren't my videos or anything.
Anyone can post these things to the internet.
I just find 'em and share 'em.
I guess if you wanted to see 'em in person you could go to the zoo?

yeah thats where i went
where i met that kid

i know theyre not YOUR movies i'm just saying, you know a lot about animals youve never even met before.

i only know about animals ive met before. mostly.
there are some animals i know about that ive never met
like dogs. i seen dogs. ive never MET a dog myself but i know about them.

but i dont know about animals that dont LIVE near me
like PANGOLIANS and eye eyes and stuff... theres probably a million animals in the world!!! you just like knowing about them all?

[ Katsuki's been promoted to "Expert on Every Animal Ever" inadvertently.

But even as Alberto's gaining confidence he's shifted the suspicions away from himself... he goes and drops some bull shit like "I've never met a dog before." Jfc kid grhbjsdf ]

I just looked up 'weirdest animals'.

[What do you mean you've never MET a dog, Alberto? What kind of weird fact is that? But he guesses... dogs aren't exactly plentiful in the ocean so.]

You can learn about anything you want, you know?
Gotta be careful where you learn it since the internet is full of lies too.
But it's pretty useful.
C'mon, pick a topic.
Bet I can find you information on it.

yeah i know its an Every Question Ever Answerer

[ Though this does kind of raise the challenge to try and stump the Internet... There's a slight delay, but Alberto texts back again. ]

OK so the Everything Machine doesnt know EVERYTHING
doesnt know about magic singing lady machines. nothing.
ha.
🤷🏽‍♂️

[ ...Yup... You outsmarted Google, Alberto. Really showed Katsuki, too. He tried to pick the most specific but still commonplace item he'd like to learn more about, but uh. He'd have had better luck looking up "phonograph" or "gramophone" or even just "record player..." Displaced in time, on top of being a fish out of water in human society. There's really so much going on with this kid... ]

Magic singing lady machines?
You have an example of what you're looking for?
Picture, maybe?

[His first thought certainly isn't phonograph. He's thinking maybe a cd player or a radio... and he's already pulling up tabs while he awaits a reply.]

[ The picture attached is... probably not what Katsuki expected. His first glimpse of Alberto's expert artwork, too, wow. ]

this
you put the black music plates on it and it sings

[ He attaches a photo of his hand holding a record of his own in front of its sleeve, for further example. And Katsuki's first glimpse into Alberto's perhaps equally unexpected music tastes, as well... What an extremely informative conversation this has been so far? And still absolutely pointing toward "not-human" somehow... And to think this all came from sharing iCarla videos. ]

Edited 2022-06-16 14:25 (UTC)

[That sure is some artwork there. He's definitely chalking this up to another sea monster thing. But he shifts tracks on his search and--]

Is this what you're looking for?

yes
That’s it.

Try phonograph.

[Every part of him wants to drop a line about how that's what humans call it. He resists. Also he googles that record name while he's at it.]

Gotta say I wouldn't have guessed your music taste at all.
You're full of surprises.

👍🏽

[ Duly noted. And a rare occasion for Alberto to seemingly accept being corrected or having something explained to him that challenges his preconceived notions. But, uh, he's... still probably going to keep calling it a Magic Singing Lady Machine, let's be real. He's keen to talk about music, though, and he's glad to be getting away from anything even peripherally sea monster-related.

However, his next text surely draws new weird suspicions. Full of surprises, indeed. ]

I love all different kinds of music! 🤩🤗😏👌🏼🎶📻🙆🏽‍♂️
when i lived in Portorosso back home, I probably spent like TEN LIRE on the jukebox haha (I was there like 2 weeks and 25 centesimi got you 3songs, you do the math)
the guy who owned the cafe gave me a limit… 😬🤨😂🙄🤌🏼🙅🏽‍♂️
he got mad after I danced on it with some girls one day so after that he was kind of 😒 at me 🤷🏽‍♂️ Ha ha

[ So the Italian Lira has been defunct since 2002, and, uh… jukeboxes haven’t been common for. A really… really long time.

Also he danced on the jukebox?! The kid’s out of control wherever he goes. ]

Edited 2022-06-16 19:30 (UTC)

[It's all starting to add up to... Alberto not just being from another world, but another time. File all that away for later. Suddenly the phonograph thing makes more sense...

But they're shifting into music now. And Alberto is claiming to love all kinds of music sooo... time to throw some stuff out and see what sticks again?]

All kinds, huh?
Try this out and let me know what you think.

[Katsuki’s tastes are faaaaar from opera, that's for sure. Time to introduce Alberto to some J-rock?]

uhm. not my thing. sorry
it's so mad?

i like this
and her dance⛲💃🏼👒🙀

[ He attaches a pop song he'd heard back home on the radio, but since arriving to Kaisou and finding a video for it online, has now fallen in love with the dance, too. What's more, it absolutely points to what time Alberto might be from... very easy clue this time. One he doesn't even think to pay any mind to. Largely because, being a sea monster raised outside society, Alberto has a very vague understanding of what year it was there or here — no one's ever explained how years are counted on the surface, so it's all just numbers to him. He has no concept of just how far back in time he's really come from. ]

Edited 2022-06-16 20:45 (UTC)

[Grandpa music. That's all Katsuki can think, watching this video. The kid is into grandpa music. Definitely from another time period. A very different time period.

And for a while he's kind of stumped because that is so far from his tastes it's ridiculous. But he goes back and listens again. Watches again. Rereads the bit about liking her dance. And... the gears start turning as he goes back to youtube with a thought.

Happy, upbeat, fun dance. It's not really Katsuki's taste buuut...]

How about this one?

[He kind of couldn't escape this song when it blew up. Especially given his choice of username. Anyone who knew what handle he used online everywhere sent him the song when it first exploded...]

[ Katsuki's stirring up all kinds of feelings today, huh... some of which Alberto's not even sure what they are. But he's ecstatic over this. ]

THAT WAS AMAZING!!! 🤩😳‼️🎵🎶🌟

[Okay, so he's onto something! Sadly, Katsuki doesn't really listen to a lot of pop. He likes his music loud and angry. So he doesn't really have anything else to share right now. But, he can at least point Alberto in the right direction?]

The genre you're looking for is pop.
Go to youtube, type in "pop music".
You'll find whole playlists of stuff like this.

kaisou inbox

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1/2

2/2; I was gonna share the same animal lmaooo now I gotta pivot 😹

Akududuf pfff great minds think alike.

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